For example, I like to think I'm available and open to my children. I can recall, however, instances of being just too sleepy to follow what they were saying. Alcohol isn't the only thing that can preclude emotional connection, and I don't say I can't drink and still be a sensitive dad, but at least a period of abstinence makes me more aware of what it costs me to drink. I'll know what to look out for next time I do.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Emotional distance
A counselor once advised me that alcohol put "emotional distance" between the drinker and his family. That was twelve years ago, and I remember it still because it touches what matters most to me - the family - and because, unlike a lot of criticisms about drinking that I can rationalize or dismiss, this one rings true.
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Not for you, dear, you are very connected to the kids. If all you have to worry about is the occasional sleepy conversation, then you are way ahead of the game.
ReplyDeleteBut "Emotional distance between the drinker and the family." Wow, is that ever true. And sometimes it adds to the emotional distance that is already there. Which came first? For children of alcoholics, it's hard to tell.